Playing with Poo

Winey the Poo felt held back. He had been feeling quite passive over the past few weeks, and though his master had tried several times to get him to come outside, he had consistently refused to leave his warm comfort zone. Every time Winey opened the door, he was suddenly filled with immense agoraphobia and couldn’t fully step outside.

Often Winey would stress himself out in an autosuggestive effort to stay indoors. He would get this way whenever his master conveyed stressful experiences from the outside world.

So instead of going out, Winey chose to entertain the guests that his master used to consistently bring in. He made friends with them easily, and some of them even stuck around for a while.

Until one day, when his master has decided to stop letting guests in. He was worried about Winey and decided the healthiest solution to get him out would be to make him feel lonely.

Winey found this really difficult to deal with. For days he would rebel by not moving a single cell of his solid body in an impressive Italian strike.

But as the days went by, Winey found it more and more difficult to stay in. He wanted to be with his fellow creatures, maybe even continue his journey and never look back. It was time, he concluded.

So one early morning, Winey had decided to discretely sneak out while his master was asleep. Of course, the unbearable noise woke his master up, and the latter prepared to start celebrating in the hopes of Winey finally sending himself away to sweet freedom. And so Winey gently opened the door, but as he tried to sneak out he had sadly discovered that his body was too fat to slide through the door. Winey had stayed in for too long, and it seemed like an impossible mission to leave the house now.

Winey didn’t give up without a fight. He aggressively tried to squeeze his full water-retained structure out the door. His skin was aching and his master felt it.

But Winey just couldn’t slip out the door as a perfect being, so he finally decided to bisect himself. He chopped up both his legs, then the rest of his limbs, one by one, and tried to pass through the door again. But his head was in the way. By now he had quite a massive head what with all the thoughts that had taken over his mind. And so Winey finally decapitated his own head.

Once he had done that, everything turned much easier. His heart was surprisingly empty and light and he finally managed to get through to the outside world, leaving his mind behind. He wanted to analyse what he’d just done, and what it feels like to be without a head, but he just couldn’t be bothered anymore. He was finally free, just as any creature should be – with no excessive weight to carry, the world suddenly didn’t seem so shit.